BRICK

First day at the ward… well technically 2nd day, counting from 3pm yesterday. Still spotting a weird sensation at the head while typing this, it’s not exactly giddiness, just a discomfort that keeps on distracting my will to concentrate. It’s just annoying that the symptoms persist without any significant cause, I hope they could nail it soon.

Never been warded my whole life, so the experience is daunting. I don’t like it because while I am the sober one, watching other ill patients make me fear, and suffer for them. People are here for all kinds of reason -

old uncle beside me had abdominal pain and letting out hard stools
old uncle opposite me had a stomach the size of 2 big balloons and he wants prata for all his meals
old uncle diagonally across me… I dunno what’s wrong, but I mistaken him as an auntie because another uncle was feeding him porridge when I admitted.

The nurses have been repeatedly coming to me to take my blood, each time poking into a different veins, already 4 holes poked so far, and countless ECG, blood pressure check, and 4 different doctors have came, all asked the same questions over and over again, did the same check over and over again. Each time without a conclusion, I am starting to get a bit impatient.

I have been mentally prepared that no special test would be conducted at least until Monday, so that’s 48 hours for me to kill in a 500 sq feet room, with malfunction tv set, view of the rainy Chinatown, 3 uncles that don’t talk and hospital diet that comes with a selection on glossy menu.

I pray hard that this visit will clear all my doubts and I could get out feeling like a new person again, I have always been a healthy person and I want to be healthy.

And I am really grateful for you, for standing by me all this while. You might not know how much it meant for me to see your smile last night, when I am all by myself in this cold dark room. Thanks for helping me to pull it through.